PARENTS

1. Prepare the setting

   • • Ingredients

       1. • Rapport

          • Convenient time

          • Comfortable place

            1. • If you find it hard to initiate conversations in-person, you can try texting too!

     • Convo ideas

       1. • “I'd like to talk about unis. Is this a good time?” 

          • “I'd like to talk about unis. When’s a good time?”

2. Do some research

   • • About yourself

     • About your options

       1. • If you can anticipate your parents' potential concerns or ideas, do some research to find out how real and up-to-date these are

            1. • Eg. Parents may have worries based on their own experience from the past but there may have been new developments that have made these worries outdated, or they could think highly of certain occupations that are now no longer as attractive.

     • About logistics

     • Convo ideas

       1. • “What do you like/dislike about your job?”

          • “I did a profiling test and these were my results.”

3. Know what you want out of the convo

   • • What do you want from your parents?

       1. • Listen & understand

          • Give permission & support

          • Offer advice & help

     • Convo ideas

       1. • “I have some uni ideas, but I need you to just listen okay? Don't give me advice — I just want you to know what I’m thinking about.”

          • “I need to get your opinion on uni funding and whether going overseas is feasible.”

          • “I need your advice about something. Do you have time to talk?”

4. Be clear and direct

   • • Use simple and straightforward language

     • State the “because”

     • Verbalise your parents’ wishes 

     • Convo ideas

       1. • “I am interested in engineering, but I’m not decided yet. I still need to find out more about... ”

          • “I know you’re afraid I won’t get a (well-paying) job.”

          • “Are you worried I cannot take care of myself overseas?”

5. Be curious and flexible

   • • Even if you don't agree with everything your parents say, listen and try to understand their point of view.

     • Convo ideas

       1. • “Why do you think this course/career suits me?”

          • “What do you think a uni education should be for?”

1. Be curious about them, their motivations and aspirations. 

   • • Listen and acknowledge their point of view and feelings about their future before jumping in to offer your own.

2. Share about your own education & career experiences and those of other people you know.

   • • This can help your child get an idea of what the working world is like and how it differs from school.

     • Eg. Hearing about someone's unexpected but successful mid-career change could mentally prepare them for twists and turns in their own journey and be more calm and adaptable in an uncertain job market.

     • Eg. Hearing about how someone got a job through connections can help them understand how employers have many considerations other than school grades.

3. If possible, try to help your child connect with people in careers or industries that they are interested in. Encourage your child to explore platforms like LinkedIn where they can reach out even to strangers to ask questions.

   • • Eg. If your child is interested in journalism, it would be helpful if they could talk to a journalist or someone in the media industry. Through asking questions and hearing first-hand experiences, they may confirm their interests or decide it is not for them after all.

4. Let your child take ownership and responsibility for their education & career journey.

   • • For many children, micromanaging (such as keeping track of their deadlines or checking their applications) or adding on stress can be unhelpful. Give them some space and trust.

     • If your child seems unmotivated, uninterested, or simply unsure about how to start exploring education & career options, you could prompt them to set some goals for themselves and to think about concrete steps they could take by specific deadlines.

Notes from talk delivered by Prof. Shanton Chang on 8 May 2023

• Soft skills are important. 

  • • Employers are increasingly valuing soft skills including creativity, persuasion, collaboration, adaptability, and emotional intelligence. Young people need a balance of both hard and soft skills, yet soft skills are often neglected.

    • Adaptability is increasingly important because jobs are changing faster.

      1. • Your children may take on jobs that don’t exist today.

         • Rather than fixate on a specific job, focusing on transferable skills makes one more adaptable.

    • Resilience is important because everyone fails.

      1. • One very common interview question is “Tell me about a time that you failed.” Employers aren’t looking for people who’ve never failed, but for people who are able to bounce back and learn from failures.

• How can students improve their employability?

  • • Do well in school → improve technical and content competency

    • Network socially outside their comfort zone and across cultures → improve confidence, adaptability, cultural awareness, and emotional intelligence

    • Network with and research on industry → improve knowledge of industry and understand employer expectations

    • Work on language and team building skills → improve communication, collaboration, and persuasion

    • Get comfortable with using digital tools → Nowadays, the vast majority of first interviews applicants will get for a job role will be through video call.

• Different people have different natural inclinations and strengths.

  • • It is often unhelpful to push a child towards something that is against their inclinations.

    • It is often helpful to encourage them to reflect on what they enjoy and dread.

• How can parents help their children discover their interests?

  • • Not force them to fit into a particular mould. If you try too hard to discover your child’s interests, you might achieve the opposite. Eg. If your kid says they are interested in music and you force them to take music lessons, music might become a chore.

    • At the University of Melbourne, the Melbourne curriculum supports our students in building the depth and breadth of knowledge, so that they become great thinkers with a flexible mindset. We encourage students to pursue their passions and explore studies outside their major through breadth subjects across the University. From languages to music, breadth subjects foster a broader skill set and complement their degree. Breadth also allows students to work with others from a range of disciplines, developing communication and negotiation skills that are crucial in the modern workplace. In many cases, combining breadth and core studies has set students on unique paths that connect their new-found passion and deeper studies.

• How can parents help their children develop soft skills?

  • • Instead of telling children not to do anything outside the classroom, encourage them to take part in CCAs and other extracurricular activities. 

    • Let them be in situations where they have to make decisions for themselves. If choices have always been made for them, they will get analysis paralysis when suddenly they are faced with many choices, and many simply go with what their friends are doing.

• Do entry score requirements reflect how good a course is?

  • • Not totally. It is just as much an indication of how limited the seats in the course are.

• What’s the difference between studying locally and overseas?

  • • “Adulting”. Students who study overseas are forced to mature faster, be more independent, and pick up soft skills.

Prof. Shanton Chang is a Professor and Associate Dean (International) at the University of Melbourne Faculty of Engineering and Information Technology. His research interests include young people’s online behaviour and its impact on education, mental wellbeing and social networking, health informatics and information needs and information systems security. He has been involved in more than 100 academic articles internationally, and published in areas such as digital health, young people's information behaviour, and cybersecurity behaviour. He is also the recipient of numerous teaching awards at the University of Melbourne, an Australian National Citation for Excellence in Teaching and Learning, and ICT Educator of the Year by the Australian Computer Society.